tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post184373375650910263..comments2022-03-27T03:13:17.517-06:00Comments on A Voice In The Desert: Survival, Awareness & Breaking Free - Part 4Jeannette Alteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06574051760314762024noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post-76748866278100237762008-06-14T13:15:00.000-06:002008-06-14T13:15:00.000-06:00Vestaoikos~Good question...Vestaoikos~<BR/>Good question...Jeannette Alteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06574051760314762024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post-80183738872444041282008-06-14T12:36:00.000-06:002008-06-14T12:36:00.000-06:00I have just one word: Oghh!!! What's wrong with hu...I have just one word: Oghh!!! What's wrong with humanity!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post-12957761029069170762008-04-14T22:31:00.000-06:002008-04-14T22:31:00.000-06:00Yeah. So few do 'get' it. But there are those that...Yeah. So few do 'get' it. But there are those that do.<BR/><BR/>I haven't seen my Nmom for 64 days. We have had a few bizarre conversations on the phone, however. Only the last few times have not left me shaky. I have started letting it go to voice mail, then calling her back. She figured out how to mark her message 'urgent' this last time. Delightful. <BR/><BR/>Hmm... the one element I didn't know to factor out was the abuser - mom. Yeah. <BR/><BR/>This was the most difficult one to post so far. A little scary - yeah. ;-) But if I am going to talk about what I am going through now, I need to lay the road map of how I got here. So...<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your comments. It is good to know someone is hearing - and being encouraged in their path.Jeannette Alteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06574051760314762024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post-37414698458215607632008-04-14T22:18:00.000-06:002008-04-14T22:18:00.000-06:00Boy. What a LOT! Thank you for sharing this part...Boy. What a LOT! Thank you for sharing this part of your story, Katherine. Courageous!<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure if anyone can understand what a pile up of odd and shocking things we (as well-meaning but confused and abused) 'choose' into. My story is different in the details but has the same 'ring' to it. It is too hard to explain what we did in our lives to the average person outside of the context (which they would never 'get').<BR/><BR/>What saddens me the most is the number of times you tried to 'get your shit together'. I relate to this sooooo much. I have 'started over' so many times I could scream. I gave up so many times too. Not out of laziness...not out of fear..none of that...but because the deck was stacked. The one element I didn't know to factor out was the ABUSER. Oh, I finally figured out how to divorce...or kick a guy out....but it never even crossed my mind to give Nmom the boot! Give her an inch and she'd take a mile. Arrrrggggghhhhhh.<BR/><BR/>Ahhh. I feel 'better' now having read that I wasn't the only one who 'started over' only to have to quit because it became too much. This is the FIRST time in my life I have started over by having absolutely NC with her from the get go. To me? To even THINK of answering a call from her would be like me having 'only one little glass of wine' (former alcoholic) If I do? I just might not escape her EVER. I might not 'make it back' (out) I value my freedom too much now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post-19098868924576045452008-04-14T22:04:00.000-06:002008-04-14T22:04:00.000-06:00I've never read of (or heard of) her books. I have...I've never read of (or heard of) her books. <BR/><BR/>I have found a good therapist - doesn't think the abuse is the fault of the abused. This portion of my life has only really began to be important to me. I have, as I was trained, always took the full blame for the disaster that happened. I don't want people to think I don't see I made bad choices. But I am just beginning to learn that it is okay to say that my family treated me badly. The hardest part is my little sister. I don't want to be mad at her. But I think I need to...<BR/><BR/>As to coming to terms with it, it is a daily process. I only really began to see the nature (narcissistic) and depth of the abuse from my mother about 6 months ago. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for the info. I will check it out.Jeannette Alteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06574051760314762024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5729738823205484539.post-45962269329340646392008-04-14T21:21:00.000-06:002008-04-14T21:21:00.000-06:00Just wondering if you have ever read any of Alice ...Just wondering if you have ever read any of Alice Miller's work. She is a great advocate of children from abused backgrounds and believes that much counselling doesn't give people what they need to recover, ie. a truly listening ear, and the right to be angry at their family, in particular their parents. She also has a website, Alice-Miller.com<BR/><BR/>I am currently reading 'The Body Never Lies'. It has been wonderfully helpful in understanding how the abuse affects you right now, and how you can make headway in understanding what the child within is still saying to you.<BR/><BR/>Sounds like you have come to terms with much of it already.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com