In addition to the Scriptures about confusion and fear, I wanted to add this passage from Romans 8 in The Message
"God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:
They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us." Romans 8:29-39
The especially relevant part to those of us who have been abused by spiritual leaders is, I think, that part that says "not bullying threats, not backstabbing" will be able to get between us and the love of Christ for us. Let this sink in. NO MAN HAS THE POWER TO CANCEL OUR SALVATION!!! That is a very personal issue that belongs to Christ alone... and "He has embraced us."
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Post Script to the last Post...
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4 comments:
I've been astounded these past months at just how three institutions...that were designed by God...to support and protect the individual and family...could serve to diminish and destroy instead. It can only be EVIL. If my worst 'sin' was to TRUST my parents, the church, and marriage....then take me out and shoot me right now.
Granted, not everyone falls prey to this crap, but for those of us who have been seriously damaged by manipulation and guilt, God love us! Thank you for this reminder of WHO GOD IS. I have hung on to this verse these past months...clinging to this belief as I step away from these arenas in my life. My commitment and my devotion is now directed to Him alone...not these self-serving shams I have been living with. I WILL, by the grace and power of the God Who made me, live a life in Truth and Reality. It burns my butt to think of all the wasted years....all the pain, guilt, tears, and anxiety...and yes: FAILURE! Thank God I 'failed'! I woulda had to join them in order to win...and what would I be 'winning'? I could be just like THEM! Chills me to think of it.
I understand. It chills me that I could have gone there, too. It is embarrassing that I listened to them as long as I did. In he end, though, to be like them or walk away and pursue God, is a choice - their choice, as well as ours. They have chosen to be what they are. That is important to remember. They have chosen to behave the way they do - to use and abuse for their own ends. That is something they have deal with before God. We have chosen not to, and we have that before God, as well. Pursue Truth and you will find freedom. (John 8:32) Ask for Truth and He will lead you there; in my experience, through very unexpected paths.
One of the things that started sinking in during my increasing frustration with the church, marriage, and my parents was the EXPECTATIONS from them. I was expected to be all-forgiving, all-dutiful, all-aware, be everything to everyone...and yet...what? Was there anything reciprocal? Nothing ever came back to me! In short, I was trying to live up to what ONLY God can do and be! I got to mulling this over....thinking: "Am I trying to 'play' GOD? Only HE can endure and forgive and sacrifice like this! That's why I NEED Him....and I'm not THEIR 'sacrificial lamb'!" All that WWJD? crap I was trying to live up to was killing me! Suddenly, I didn't see that God was asking this of me....THEY were! I started scrambling to re-align myself with God...ALONE....and began to see the true nature of what was going on. Who is was...and who I was NOT! (That is called R-e-a-l-t-y)
You can imagine the scuffling in the background now..."What's wrong with her? She must be backslidden. Maybe she's just tired. blahblahblah".
I have chosen to go 'No contact' with these people. And funny thing is? No one misses me. Why? Because I wasn't doing what they wanted me to do for them anymore. I was 'useless'....a 'limp sock'. And why else? There are plenty of insecure, deluded people out there...just like I was....to jump at the chance to wait on them hand and foot. I'm a 'has been'. Hoo-RAY!
Hooray, indeed! No contact is the best way. It is amazing how, even now, some of these people can twist me back up just by talking to me for a few minutes. (I discovered this just last night.) I am not surprised that they haven't shown any concern for you - the real person. I experienced the same thing when I walked away from the church. None of them in leadership contacted me to see if I was okay or anything. This is not normal. The fear that reigns there is amazing. It was only after I got away that I began to really see just how twisted and messed up it is. I just found out some things today that make SO glad that I am NOT there any more. Again, hooray, indeed!!
The sad part is that there are a lot of sad and broken people that they will continue to use. That is why exposure is important. Knowledge is power - truth is freedom. Enjoy your freedom (John 8:32, 36).
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