Hmm... it is such an odd space I find myself in.
My sister is moved back as of Thursday. And I don't know how I feel about that. Trepidatious? Haven't seen her yet, but we've talked on the phone a few times.
Hmm... My friend told me today that she had heard that someone we know is thinking of starting a church. She talked to him and he said that it had been prophesied over him and that he is thinking about it, but he doesn't have a clear picture yet, and all he is planning right now is maybe starting some meetings once a month starting in January. And Something much akin to hope rose inside and is scaring the crap out of me.
As I was leaving her house, she was talking with her sister and cousin about going to church in the morning. And a part of me is a little jealous of that desire. But....
So on the way home, I stopped at the liquor store and got a 6 pack of Guinness Draught. And although I am tempted to get plastered, I will stop at one. My friend want s to go to church and I want a beer....
So why am I hopeful... excited, even, about this person starting a group of meetings? Hmm... well, from what I know of him, he has a ton of integrity and not a lot of ego... great mix for a leader, eh? And the idea of the possibility of a community that I might actually be able to almost trust... yet I am afraid my expectations are too high and I will get pulled in and burned... again.
What the hell? I don't know what Papa's got cooking, but, please, don't let me get suckered again.