Hmm... this is something that was brought to my attention a few weeks ago. And it is pissing me off. And the Institutional Church wonders why people are leaving - why people don't trust them.
As I have mentioned in a few of my posts, my former pastor turned out to be a sexual predator. Ugly. Messy. Painful. My best friend nearly destroyed. As I may or may not have mentioned before, the first pastor I was under (ages 0-4) was also a sexual predator. After I left the church a year and a half ago, I attended (casually) a local mega-church (wanting anonymity) and the senior pastor resigned then confessed to having an affair. Now this.
If you want to know the details, you can read about them here. In a nutshell, he is seducing women and extorting money from people in the name of God. Understand that this man is someone I know personally. I have taken him to dinner - given him money - regarded him as a man of God - looked up to him. Then the warning signs started - about the time I left the church. I have attended one of the meetings of this 'cult.' And it is a cult. And I am so pissed and so sad and so tired of this crap. I personally know some of the people he has 'taken advantage of.' They were friends (some still are, just not as close as we once were). And I see the carnage these men leave behind - broken lives. Damage that takes years to mend - if ever. And I feel the urge to inflict physical harm. I don't really want to and I would not act on it. But I have to say, there is not much that makes me more angry than this kind of shit. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust a minister again. (Sorry, if you are one, but...)
And I know some of the people that are still involved with this cult. And they will not hear. And I guess I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening.
(I have some other things brewing for posts... once I adjust to the new work schedule. ;-) )
21 comments:
WOW! See, this is an area I'm thankful to have no experience with. I can only imagine the damage it does to people under their spell. I am sorry so much of your experience has included this type of sin against the Church.
Free Spirit~
Thank you. Hmm... I sometimes forget that most people haven't had this kind of experience - it's not the reason they left church. I need Papa's help in knowing exactly what to do with the anger. I know now (contrary to what I was taught growing up) that it is okay to be angry. I just need help in how to do it (ha) and how to direct it. Hmm... He's guided me this far, though, and I know He's not going to let me flounder here. :-)
I guess that is what happens when you have power to control people.
Jesus came as a servant and He is quite a contrast. That's why I love Him so much. He said some stuff and John 6:60 says this "When many of Jesus' disciples heard him, they said, "What he says is hard to accept. Who wants to listen to him anymore?"
This is followed by John 6:66-67which says "As a result, many of his disciples turned back and no longer associated with him. So Jesus asked the twelve apostles, "Do you want to leave me too?"
Now I ask you, does He sound like He has a controlling power over His disciples?
Love ya
us
Thanks, Abmo. :-)
Katherine,
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I don't know what else to say. Just know that my thoughts and heart are with you and your friends.
~Amy :)
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
Amy, Thanks.
It just proves to me yet again that the whole setup of the IC with its big dude out the front is set up for this kind of thing to happen. Sheesh, what a forking mess.
I feel angry too. I know I have had some success in embracing my anger and somehow it begins transforming. It involves mentally/spiritually embracing the emotion itself that comes up, rather than the causes, embracing it the way you would embrace a child, looking at it, smiling at it. Which sounds weird, but there is something powerful in there, something healing that I have found (when I can get to the point of doing this, which isn't often lately.) Anyway email me if you want to chat about it more?? Just thought I'd mention it - hope it doesn't sound like i'm Bible Answer Guy'ing at you because hey, look at my life in tatters :) Just thought I'd share - discard if not useful.
PS: You know what pisses me off the most? The comment from that site, from one of this man's followers, who said:
""John is above scripture and taught me to follow 'the voice' within."
Oooh, that makes me really angry. Because it's so close to what I think is a strong place to be, you know? Learning to trust to hear Papa's voice ourselves so we won't be led astray. And so how diabolical it is when the person teaching you on the one hand to do that is on the other hand doing exactly the opposite. Bastard.
Oh hon, this just makes me sick. In many ways, it is less painful to endure abuse ourselves than to sit by helplessly while lives are destroyed, especially when the victims have been made willing by brainwashing and the twisting of who God really is. :( HUGS, great big ones.
Sue~
Thanks. You know, I agree with that concept - embracing instead of stuffing. And you don't sound like you are Bible Answer Guying me. ;-) I may shoot you an email this weekend. Right now, I have just finished a freakin' stressful week at work and then had my sister & brother-in-law over for the evening - nice, haven't seen them for a year, but I'm tired...
And yeah, the way he twists the Bible and truths to sound good but with that little bit of poison in... He exerts a strong pull - vary charismatic and charming. And I have come to realize the is witchcraft involved in what he does. Grrrrr!!!
Tyler~
Exactly. Especially when they are friends. And I have watched this happen before with my former pastor. And yeah, it makes me sick and angry and... yeah. I receive those hugs and give them in return. Thanks. Dang, I wish there was a way we could all get together for dinner and conversation and just relaxing together in a safe place.
it's times like this when i am thoroughly ashamed of being a male...
embracing anger is helpful. not in the sense of letting it be your defining emotion, but rather being willing to acknowledge without guilt. as sue said, the way you would embrace a child.
one thing that has helped me in learning how to deal with this same process is to have a cathartic outlet for the anger. do you have one?
Jon~
Hmm... no, I don't. I learned, growing up, that anger was a dangerous thing and to stuff it - hide it - as much as possible. Part of me would like to run into this man - and my former pastor - hmm... Although that might be cathartic, it might not be particular profitable. Maybe. I don't know....
Dang I finally got a chance to read all of that link. Totally gross!
Need to go take a bath now....
It should be illegal somehow.
Tyler~
It is illegal, actually. Even what my former pastor did (which is bad, just not on this scale) is a felony in my state. This is illegal and that is being pursued, I think. My understanding is that, at least in this state, pastors are classified with therapists and counselors for the purposes of law in this area. For better or worse, I hope they go to jail for a while. I'm not sure anything else will get through to them.
Wow is right. That is one evil man, to use the name of God to do such wicked things. Anger....yeah, and then some.
I'm sorry he's been a part of your life and a part of your friends'. To be subjected to such brainwashing and abuse that harms the very soul is so horrible, it's beyond words.
Ella
Ella~
Thanks. Hmm... it's interesting. When we are raised be narcissists, we tend to put up with a lot of crap from other narcissists because it is just normal to us. Until we come to the place where we recognize what we were raised in, it can be hard to recognize it in others.
Interesting... I feel angry towards such men.
But I also realize, anyone (including me) have the potential to do any sin under the sun, given the right circumstances. It is that weakness what keep me connected to Christ. If I myself have strength to abstain from a sin, I would need only less Jesus.
Jesus said, 'if you lust after a woman in your heart, you already committed adultery'. If so, I am no different from the pastor/s you mentioned here.
Anyways, I thought I would just share my thoughts! Thanks!
Bino~
I understand what you're saying. And it may be true on the end of the one lusting, although I think once you start acting on it - and acting on it - and acting on it - it goes into something else. But there is a difference in how those who are lusted after are affected. Ninety percent of the time, a woman is not going to know if you lusted after her in your heart. But if you pursue her and twist the word of God to get her in a position of control to use her, that affects her a lot differently. I can't see the two as the same.
Until we come to the place where we recognize what we were raised in, it can be hard to recognize it in others.
That's so very true. Or perhaps it's closer to what we see we don't identify as dangerous because it's so like what is common and comfortable to us. Until we recognise what was wrong, we're willing prey.
Yup. Sad and sick but true. We were raised to be willing prey. Thank God He has other plans.
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